What's Self-Advocacy?

You know those moments when someone says 'read this, it's really interesting' and hands you their phone or a piece of paper?

While you're still making your way through the first few lines, they're getting excited. 'How about that part... the research is amazing, isn't it?'

This jump-in often puts me back at the beginning, like a game of snakes and ladders. I'm trying to make sense of the text, but they're ready to discuss it.

Speaking Up

For years, I'd just nod along with this jump-in. After starting over a few times, I'd simply give up and pretend I'd caught up.

Then I'd say something wrong or meaningless, giving the unintended feeling that I wasn't interested - simply because I couldn't get through the text.

By stopping and letting friends know 'I'm still working through it, just Give me another minute,' things started to change.

Turns out that's self-advocacy—which sounds fancy but really just means speaking up for what you need. Really helped my friendships too.

Work In Progress

Recently I'm playing with this idea further. I read the title, first line or so, pause, and then say 'Wow!' repeating something that does sound interesting, then ask 'Tell me, what's the best part?'

Sometimes they just want to share their excitement—they're not actually expecting a full read anyway.

If they do want me to read it fully, I'll say 'Cool, give me a few minutes. I'd like to read and think before we get into this. Why don't you grab us coffee?'

It doesn't have to be dramatic or formal. You're just letting people know where you are and what you need to catch up.

Most of the time, they're happy to wait or share what excited them. And when they're not, well, that tells you something useful too.