I Just Can't Hear You

Everyone else seemed to chat effortlessly in crowded restaurants or bars. I couldn't pick out one voice from another. It took me years of saying "can you say that again" then nodding to be polite when the second time was just the same.

My breakthrough came when I stopped trying to make noisy places work.

Processing Sound

Realizing I couldn't follow conversations in this environment was key. My brain just can't do it. It's not that the noise bothers me—it's that the words become impossible to separate.

I first noticed this clearly at concerts in my teens. But looking back, the signs were always there.

So I started seeking quieter spaces. Not because I'm avoiding people, but because I want to focus on conversation.

Social Energy

Somewhere along the way, I noticed I have just a few hours before social interactions start feeling like work.

Quality over quantity. I favor shorter, focused conversations over long hangouts. My favorite way to engage with friends is a walk and talk - the flow of walking somewhere peaceful somehow lets me stay present much longer.

Finding rhythm. I started choosing quiet times for other activities too - late night runs instead of busy day time trails.

Working with limits. Thinking this was something I could push through. I now pay more attention to how I approach time with people.

It turns out that working with my energy instead of against it means I can actually show up more fully when I am with people.

The quality of those few hours improved when I stopped trying to extend them.

I'm still navigating this balance, but accepting these limits has made social connection more genuine and meaningful.